"How to Overcome a Broken Heart"
Yep. I've GTS (googled that... stuff).
Okay- first of all: I google pretty much everything.
And second of all: Yes. My heart really hurt so badly that I had to turned to the internet for any sort of me solace I could receive.
Haha. Just picture it: me, laying curled up in bed- a tear-stained, mascara smeared face, faintly lit by the lonely glow of my iPad screen at 2 AM. Oh, its miserable. And I'm sure I looked far more pathetic than you are imagining.
You want to know what it pulled up? I was really mesmerized and disturbed all at once...
There was a video I watched that discussed how the person least invested in the relationship is the one with the control. That's right. So if you want to wear the pants in the relationship- you simply have to care less about the relationship than the other person.
Fascinating, right?! I thought back on previous relationships and it was totally true. I am one to push people away and not invite people in. So the majority of the time starting into a relationship I want the relationship far less than the guy. But I can tell the power shift when I am finally okay with having him, and actually WANTING him to be in my life.
But this is also totally disturbing in a sense, isn't it? I mean, here this movie (its actually a program) telling you that not only do you want to maintain the control in the relationship, but that you shouldn't care about losing people.
Okay, so i'm sure that's NOT what it was actually portraying, but something very close.... or at least that's what I perceived.
One of my ex-boyfriends actually expressed that he was hurt and didn't like that I never expressed that I wanted him around. (I felt like I did... but don't ever want people to feel obligated to spend time with me. Me telling him "its up to you" was in his mind, me telling him I didn't care. We all have our own way of expressing things... and I am trying to improve since that feedback.)
Its really just a double edged sword, in my opinion. I firmly believe you need to be independent and not rely on another person for happiness or self-worth. But I also believe there is a beauty that comes from opening yourself up, becoming vulnerable, and letting someone into every aspect of your life.
Oh man....
It hurts SO BAD if they choose to walk away once you let them in....
And for so long after.
But how do you know unless you really give it your all?
So I am not judging this program or saying it is bad. It honestly brought me a lot of solace that night.
I'm just saying its such a gamble of opening up and putting it all out there in hopes of finding a person who's willing to go "all in" with you.
I'll leave it up to you how much you want to invest with the warning that you never know if the person will give you a bull or a bear market return on your investment value....
But you have to take the risk, right?
